Post by Susan Peabody on Jul 2, 2020 0:57:10 GMT
I had a dream this afternoon about my daughter Kathy. Dreams tell me what is going on in my unconscious. Apparently, I am still grieving the passing of Kathy and the mistakes I made when she was a child.
I was not ready to be a mother, but I loved my children. In order to have time to drink and hang out with my boyfriends, I let my mother take Kathy. She was home during the week but spent her weekends and summers with my mom. That was both good and bad. The good part was that she got lot of attention, but it also meant she felt abandoned by me.
In my dream, Kathy and Karl were in my bedroom. Kathy was about seven years old and I had brought her home from mothers house. I was crying and apologizing to Kathy for abandoning her and I was bemoaning the fact that I had missed out of so much joy that I could have had being a more attentive mother.
I woke up . . .
In real life I cannot change the past. But recognizing our shortcomings must happen before we can be forgiven.