My Granddaughters

[Susan Peabody]

Yesterday was my granddaughter's graduation from high school. Yes I am that old. I am only allowed to see her for graduations. She did a video of everyone who had meant something to her and I was not mentioned.

For a long time, I blamed myself for neglecting my daughter as a child. But my son Karl explained to me that my role as her mother was only part of the problem. The real problem was that she had joined a religion that believed in shunning people. It was a Christian group. She also married a very controlling man who wanted to isolate her. So when I fell in love with a woman named Sandra, all hell broke loose and they used this as an excuse to shut the door on me.

At the graduation, I could stop crying but I came home to the family who has stuck by me and today is a brighter tomorrow.

This is why I hesitate to call myself a Christian and prefer to call myself a "Follower of Christ." All religions start out with a great spiritual presence. Then each generation loses something special like the idea that God loves EVERYBODY not just those in their personal group.

Thank you for letting me vent . . .


blog.sivanaspirit.com/why-i-am-spiritual-and-not-religious/

[Susan Peabody]

I am depressed. Today is my daughter's birthday. She died in 2010. I sent out the message below, and nobody responded. I try so hard to be optimistic and comfort others and now I feel all alone except for Jesus Christ who also suffered. In the garden of Gethsemane I know he was depressed but he still ended his prayer to be released from his mission with "thy will be done." I think of this moment often and know there will be a brighter tomorrow.

On January 12, 1967 I gave birth to my daughter Kathleen. She was beautiful and everyone loved her. On June 2, 2010 she went home to stay with God and all the other angels as well as her daughter Jasmnye. I miss her and think of her daily. There is something about losing a child . . . But I still have my son Karl who is a gift to me. This link is the journal I kept after she passed away. After I finished this I wrote the book Where Love Abides.

Dear Kathy:

On January 12 it is your birthday. You were born at Brookside Hospital in San Pablo. I went into labor early after trying to wash down the kitchen ceiling after a fire. I did not know it at the time but it was your great grandmother's birthday. Her name was Dorothy Peabody. You came out at 3:00 p.m. Mom was there trying to apologize for telling me what a wonderful experience child birth was. But all the pain was worth it when you came. You weighed seven pounds and were so beautiful. They put you in the nursery and you would not stop crying until they brought you to me for nursing. Then you ate and went to sleep. When I went home I was so nervous all I could do was cry. But eventually I got into my stride. When you were older I wrote you the following poem:

Sunday's Child

When you were born
You clung to me.
The bond was there
It's plain to see.
The early months
Were never dull.
No rest, no quiet;
Not even a lull.
But after a time
You quieted down;
Moments of ease
I finally found.
Then came the years
That were pleasant & mild;
After all, sweetheart,
You were Sunday's child.
You had a gift
Right from the start;
The sweetness and charm
Of a child pure in heart.
And now that you're grown
You're still special I see;
Still kind and loving,
And God's gift to me.

1987

(To my daughter Kathy)

[Susan Peabody]

I had spent the day trying to take care of some business. The bank was driving me nuts. Finding an adult care for my sister was taking hours. I didn't know whether to scream or cry. I did both. Finally I surrendered, opened the window and lay down. In pops a cat who lies down next to me and proceeds to lick my hand. I have no idea where this cat came from. So I take a piece of string, put my phone number on it and tie it around his the cat's neck along with a note thanking her owner for letting the cat roam around the neighborhood. The owner called me later and said the cat could visit any time she wanted. I thanked her and asked if I could name her Susie. She said "fine."

I share this so that all of you know that God is always ready to comfort you but he may surprise you!